5 Common Conversation Mistakes

Tactful. This is a word you will get acquainted with most in this article as we explore why you have dropped yourself in it previously and why you have dug yourself a deeper hole more often than you care to mention.

It is okay. We have not all been the most clever and tactful in a situation, but those days are over, and we will look at the five common conversation mistakes you might be making.

You speak too boldly

Of course, you should come out of your shell a little (if you socially hibernate in one), but there is such a thing as being too bold. You might think it will be impressive or funny to say something that is a bit 'out there', but you ought to be careful.

If I, standing in a group chatting away about football, decided to say, 'Oh, these footballers, overpaid actresses more like ha!' it might be funny, but someone's son might be in a team dreaming of being in the premier league, or someone's husband might be part of the manager's team.

Bottom line: You never know who knows who.

You are too soppy

Compliments are nice, but avoid compliments that are too gushy or personally sensitive.

Don't say: You look like you've lost a bit of weight there!

This is precisely the type of comment that would make many people a bit self-aware. Plus, few people know how to respond.

For a safe and adequate compliment, pick out something they are wearing or have about their person and make a nice comment upon it.

Say: What a lovely... + object.

You are too verbose

Interrupting is key for dynamic conversation; it is a skill that requires the ability to read people well and understand when best to intervene, as opposed to an abrupt interruption.

Some people will talk and talk unless they receive a signal from you that it is time to, frankly, give it a rest. The tricky part is knowing at which point in their talking and how one interrupts.

Most people, however, should interrupt a bit less until they have acquired that skill. Wait for a natural pause (until someone has made their main point).

You are too desperate

Name-dropping rarely impresses anybody because it is exactly the type of thing somebody would do to appear more interesting. It is far less gauche and more elegant for others to discover that you know Daniel Craig without needing to say much at all, instead of going around to everybody saying, 'I know 007, you know!'

Yeah… sure you do.

You ignore titles

The word 'title' conjures up scenes from the House of Lords or extravagant land owners, but titles apply to everyday professionals as well as high-ranking officials. Titles can be earned as well as bestowed or inherited.

General rule: always address people by their title until they tell you not to ('Just call me + name').

These are all examples of conversational faux pas that are not so major but neither are they minor. Combining all of these mistakes and continuing to make them again and again will never result in you becoming a great conversationalist who works the room and any group like magic, just as you ought to do.